


Sometimes We're Not Ready. And That's Ok.

by SakuraCh4n



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Confusion, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Healing, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Moving On, Realization, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 10:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraCh4n/pseuds/SakuraCh4n
Summary: This is a small AU piece based on Once Upon A Time. For all SwanQueen lovers we know this is an actual thing and we hate that this never went canon, right? But let's thank our writing and our imagination and keep living the amazing relationship these two characters have.In this AU, Hook left Emma soon after they got married. Emma starts realizing that despite still aching for him, she can't ignore her feelings for Regina that start to kick off right after Regina tells her how she feels about her. Loads of denial the whole time which is natural between two people that want to be together but there's a lot of things in between. It's almost sad to see how much time they lost in this struggle but, it's a valid struggle. And real life is that way as well. Sometimes it just sucks. It would be a lot easier if things came in separate periods of time and we could deal with everything one thing at a time, right?Nope. It's not always like that. But it's okay anyway.





	Sometimes We're Not Ready. And That's Ok.

It was heartbreaking to see Emma like that ever since Hook asked for the divorce and sailed back to Neverland. She became in all ways broken and Regina could do nothing else but to be there for her and watch her crash and burn every step of the way. Emma wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep and her nightmares began assaulting her again, causing her trembling hands to return. Regina stood nearby and her heart ached along with the blonde, her frustration increasing, specially since her feelings for Emma turned into something else. The Evil Queen ached for The Savior and there was something poetic about it. At least something ironic.

 

Nobody could even begin to understand how that happened but after so many years working together and placing their clear differences aside, Regina realized that there was no point in denying something that had been there all along. Emma wasn't just a friend to her. She wasn't just someone Regina would work with to assure that Storybrooke remained safe at all costs. No. Emma was much more then that and that explained all the times Regina felt a stung in her heart, specially when Emma and Hook were together.

 

 _"It's bad enough that I'm stuck with you and Captain Guyliner making eyes at each other."_   Regina would grunt with a role of her eyes.

 

 _"We don't make eyes."_   Emma would reply with a sigh, her hands opening to the sides as she shrugged.

 

 _"If you want my opinion... You're to good for him."_   Regina would say as they both drank shots at Granny's after once again saving the day. But Emma would palm it off and laugh as she downed another shot. This was Regina after all and sass was her middle name. Always complaining, the eternal unsatisfied. That was everyone's Evil Queen.

 

Ironic part being, neither of them were aware that this actually meant something.

 

Not until Regina actually said it, years later.

 

Ah. The wonders of bottling something up.

 

 _"Yes, I like you. And I don't mean this in a friendly, mushy kind of way. Is that what you want me to say!?"_   Regina snapped after an argument that started over Hook. She didn't get it. She couldn't understand how Emma was still grieving that much for a lousy pirate that just abandoned her after feeding her a happy ending that didn't last more then some months.

 

Emma blinked, surprised. She had no idea that Regina felt that way. For seconds she did just that, blink, trying to understand why was it so hard to say something back at Regina. It should be easy right? To say something back. To either say 'I feel the same way about you' or 'I'm sorry but I don't.' So why weren't neither of these options leaving her mouth? For a split second, she looked inside herself and she still couldn't understand why nothing was coming out. She felt drawn into that idea and all of that was so comfortable to her, felt so logical that she couldn't reject the idea as she should. At least not completely. Why? Confusion stroke her and she kept blinking.

 

 _"You know. If you're going to give me the whole 'you're great, but' speech, don't. I can handle it."_   Regina spat with a wave of her hand.

 

 _"No. It's not that. I mean. I don't think I like you that way. I mean... Geez! Do we really have to talk about this right now?"_   Emma countered, dodging the bullet.

 

 _'Yes. Because that makes fucking sense, Emma.'_   She thought to herself wondering why the hell she couldn't even feel what she said. She wanted to tell Regina that it wasn't mutual but that wasn't the case.

 

Why?

 

This made no fucking sense.

 

Days passed and Regina went radio silent. This bugged Emma to the core, detail that fucked her up in the head even more then she would like to admit. She was still suffering for Hook, yet ever since her last talk with Regina, she couldn't take her majesty off her head. Eyes drifted to the phone and she felt conflicted, not knowing if she should text Regina, call her or just let her be. She waited some hours and that feeling soon turned into something else. She wanted to talk with Regina and to be honest it didn't matter about what. She just wanted to talk to her. Anything. Anything at all. She grabbed her phone and began writing a text as she kept telling herself that there was no harm in keeping Regina close. She wanted to. So that was good, right?

 

 _"This better be good, Emma."_   Regina's voice echoed through Emma's office as she walked inside.

 

It wasn't good. There was a case in town and Emma called Regina to help out. And perhaps yes, there was a part of Emma that knew that a common goal would be the only way to break the ice between them since last time.

 

 _"The Mad Hatter's daughter is missing."_   Emma replied, handling over the file.

 

And for weeks on a row, they worked together on this, making their only objective to find the child. They had no other choice then to spend time together but this time, Emma observed Regina with more attention then probably ever. Soon she realized that she was living a hell of a battle inside herself that made no fucking sense. She loved everything about Regina yet she felt guilty, horrible and scared about it. Regina was beautiful, strong, reliable and damn, how did Emma never noticed how fucking sexy she was? But the guilt, the fear. Well that was fucked up. Guilt because how could she be allowing her feelings for Regina to grow when she was still heartbroken for Hook? Fear because how could she not be scared to death? It was to soon to even think about the idea of giving her heart over to someone else, mainly because she felt that there was nothing of her heart left. But then again, if there wasn't, how could she be feeling anything at all for Regina?

 

Simple.

 

She liked Regina.

 

But she wasn't ready.

 

The realization of this made Emma panic and every time they left the office or the field to return back to their respective homes, Emma would freak out alone, wondering what to do. Anxiety, stress, confusion. What the hell? She couldn't. She wasn't ready to simply give her heart away. And then, she just felt sad. She felt sad because she knew that by the time she felt ready, surely Regina would be long gone. And that was life, messing with you and mocking the living crap out of your existence.

 

Phone rang and Emma snapped out of it.

 

 _"Emma it's three in the morning. What the hell?"_   Regina protested.

 

 _"What are you talking about?"_   Emma asked in confusion.

 

_"You... Called me. About five times in the last five minutes."_

 

And she had. Five times she called Regina and turned down the call after a few seconds. Five times she tried to call her and tell her something, anything at all. Emma closed her eyes. She even forgot about this for some seconds.

 

_"I'm sorry I-... I just wanted to tell you that... Y-... you know what... Just forget it. You're right. It's late and I'm to tired. See you in the morning, ok?"_

 

Silence on the other side. Until Regina broke it.

 

 _"Emma you do realize you don't need to say anything, right?"_   Soft voice spoke.

 

Emma said nothing.

 

And Regina continued.

 

_"I get it. You're not ready. And that's ok. One day, you'll be. And so will I."_

 

And in that moment, Emma knew she was safe.

 

She smiled in silence.

 

_"Goodnight, Regina."_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked this piece. It's quite late here and I should be sleeping but I was hit by a wave of inspiration and I had to let this out. 
> 
> Have you ever experienced something similar to this? Tell me your thoughts and all that jazz. :)


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